Almost time...

When I started this thing, this little bit of internet turf, I had this idea that I would write every day until I turned 30. Well, with months-long gaps, I guess that didn't work out.

I've got one month and 23 days now, and I'm not exactly sure how to play them. Do I fuck off the world and have self-destructive fun? Do I get my head down and plow through all the work in front of me? Do I start learning Japanese? Do I plan a party?

I honestly don't know. I'm veering away from self-destructive fun, despite flirting with it over the past month or so. And I really don't want to spend all this time, when we actually have nice weather, tied to a computer, toiling away.

So I think it's going to be a Japanese phrasebook, too. Learning a language isn't a strong point for my brain, and there's no way I'm going to speak Japanese beyond the five days I'm there.

I guess that leaves me with the party thing. Great. How do I wrangle friends who are either imaginary or don't give a fuck about me into coming to Weston for a day and then getting absolutely shitfaced with me in Bristol for a night? Always a problem.

I've never had a really good birthday. With it being in the middle of summer, it always seemed to coincide with people going on forms of family vacations. I had sleepovers where nobody slept over. I had afternoon parties where people came late and/or left early. I had fancy dinners that ended in people going out with others and/or arguments. I had one where I moped around mourning the death of my dog, who had needed to be put down the day before.

Most birthdays have been depressing as fuck for me, and amazingly it's a different reason each year. There have actually only been a few where I was upset about my age, and I'm now actually looking forward to 30. I'm kind of sick of being in my 20s. They haven't been good to me, so fuck them. I'm going to embrace being a mature lady of 30.

Maybe that's overstating it.

I'm going to be happy to be in my 30s, so I can lord my maturity over those who are not in their 30s or above.

So... How best to mark this occassion? So far the idea I've come up with is a barbecue and paint jam in Weston, then unabashed drunkenness in Bristol. Of course, it'll have to be either before or after I actually turn 30, since that day I'll be sat on Mount Fuji listening to music.

I'm open to suggestions of idea refinement and dates. And I really, really hope people show up. Otherwise, I might as well stay 29.